Hi there! I’m Bianca Dye. I guess because I wrote a book on dating I’m now an expert (not!) more so that I’m a 34 year old single chick who has had her fair share of dating – the good, the bad & the so ugly I can’t even write it down... so I’m here for you. I also tackle some dating survival tips... chat about toxic dates, being a bunny boiler – the usual dating stuff. To start off I thought I’d share the opener to my book PLAYING HARD TO GET..... it might get you in the dating mood.....!
Last summer I was sitting on the couch with my (ex) boyfriend, reading an article in Cosmo magazine about that book “He's Just Not That Into You” (I don't know about you, but that book became a mini bible for my group of friends for a while). Anyway, the article was about playing hard to get and my (then) boyfriend said to me, 'I wish you had played harder to get when we first met. I knew straight away that you were keen because you sent me a barrage of text messages.' I nearly choked on my chai. I had an instant 'beam me up, Scotty' moment.
I felt like shit even though my (then) boyfriend didn't mean it in a nasty way, and I've since forgiven him — but only because it ultimately led me to the idea for this book. I felt like someone had winded me. Little did my (then!) boyfriend know that he had opened up a can of worms. And these were smelly, long, deep-rooted worms; worms that made me take a step back and have a look at my life and the way in which I had handled my previous relationships. I'd been so close to missing out on this great guy! (have I mentioned we split up?!)
It made me realise that I had been doing it all wrong. Ironically, when it came to any other area of my life I was completely in control — I had a great job, awesome friends, a brilliant family that I loved, and a busy and fulfilling life with many goals. But when it came to men — or, more importantly, my emotions when I was with men — I was as useless as a fanny on a toaster! Seriously, why did I find it so hard to be 'coy', to play the game, to dance that (awkward) little dance?
Playing hard to get was something I just didn't get... and there we have it - the ultimate question for DATING - THE "play" of dating..... do you "play " at all let alone "play HARD to get.
The short answer ... yes!
Your signals should be as clear & loud as pammy's left nipple - don’t lead anyone on if in your heart you KNOW they are not right for you- it wastes everyone’s time... unless you are UPFRONT about it ie " I really like you ... I think your hot - but I was wishing for someone who didn’t already have kids /smoke /own a Harley / a butt plug (whatever) but if you want to hang out... I’m cool? "That way no one is being lied to and everyone knows the stakes. Are you game enough for that ? You need to ask yourself this stuff before you date.