Guys. Guys. Guys. The number one thing that you seem to forget is that (with the exception of squirters) most girls need their clit stimulated to achieve an orgasm.
‘Yes,’ I hear you say, ‘but what about the vaginal orgasm?’ and the sad fact of the matter is that your every day pub root may not know her button from her hole.
Women don’t have their gear on the outside like you do and chances are she might not even masturbate regularly (less than 76% orgasm in some wives’ studies!*).
So unless you are very lucky and have one of those sexy creatures who relish being a slut, it is going to be up to YOU to educate her.Lesson No. 1 – The Clitoris
If you haven’t found this yet, you’re date list is probably empty. It is a small pea-sized mound right at the top of her flaps. Spread them apart. Have a good look. Tell her how gorgeous it is. Make her aware that it exists by giving it a tentative – and appreciative – lick. Watch her squirm. Keep licking it gently, gradually increasing and decreasing in intensity by watching her body language. (Believe me, she’ll be moving). Lick it like an ice-cream or suck it as you would a slurpee that you don’t want to drain the flavouring out of.
Treat it a bit like you would the head of your cock – it’s very sensitive, but it likes being rubbed and tickled and scratched, too. Experiment. (And it looks like you’re trying to please her, so she’ll lap it up).
Above all, try and arouse it during sex. (This is the hard part!) It’s a bit like rubbing your tummy and patting your head, but try flicking it gently with your fingers at the same time as fucking her or mash your pelvis against it on each downward thrust.
An easier option might be to invest a little in your love making skills and get a jelly cock ring with a clit tickler attached. (The best ones have a little bullet-shaped vibrator that you can remove and place in the seam of your balls).Lesson 2 – The Bunny
Women are the exact opposite of men. The less women have sex, the less they want sex. (Weird, eh?) That means the more they have sex, the more they want sex. If you want her to be wet for you when you arrive home from work, make sure she is masturbating regularly.
Use a trick from the television hit series and get her a ‘rabbit’ vibrator (with any luck, she’ll have heard of them). Make sure its soft silicon or jelly (never hard plastic – erggh). Extract a promise for her to use it. Once. At the time and place of her choosing. Beg her if you have to.
Chances are she will discover that it only seems kinky the first time.
Unless she’s having orgasms, sex with you is like eating a cake without the icing (and it’s no wonder you only get it on your birthday).Lesson 3 – The Slut
Be honest and tell her you like women who behave like sluts in the bedroom. It’s not kinky or derogatory. It’s a state of being, not an action. It’s a level of sexual ecstasy that many women are discovering (and few are looking back).
If it makes her feel uncomfortable, take it slowly by saying how much you admire ‘generous lovers’ and big-hearted people (no-one can argue with that). Then encourage her to have fun with you. You won’t be offended (no matter what she does). Tell her you like sluts over thin chicks and she’ll love you forever!
Above all, remember most women DON’T have sex ‘to get their end wet’ – rather, they have it because of the intimacy – the cuddling, holding, murmuring, caressing, touching, wining, dining, kissing and flirting. Be the good at those things and she’ll be good for you.
(* Longitudinal Assessment of Ageing in Women, 2007)
Holly Hill lives by her motto “People have as much right to have sex as they have a right not to have sex”. Her phrase ‘negotiated infidelity’ became a household term after guest appearances on the Larry King Show, 60 Minutes and Dr Phil, but she recently retracted the notion, saying it emasculated men and made women feel insecure. After testing the notion for four years and interviewing hundreds of couples, Holly said any arranged infidelity must be the "exception and not the expectation" and reversed the notion, calling it “negotiated fidelity” instead. It’s all about defining a couple's own unique sexual boundaries for their ongoing relationship and is part of the notion of having unconditional love. Holly’s books Sugarbabe and Toyboy received massive media exposure and she is about to publish the third in the series, The Velvet Pouch.
Copyright 2009 Holly Hill
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