Guys, online dating rejection is not the huge drama you might think it is, and is definitely no reason to give up on your efforts to meet that perfect woman - a friend with benefits.
One of the most important things that you have to learn about with online dating – and that includes adult dating sites where sex is the priority – is that you will be subject to rejection. And if not that, then maybe you will be ignored or blocked or otherwise given the cold shoulder.
I’m not going to trot out some Anthony Robbins inspired motivational piece about dealing with the horrible, emotional trauma associated with the blow to your manly ego caused by rejection.
I am going to tell you to man up!
In the world of online dating, there is no room for crying and moaning about being rejected. It has happened to me more times than I care to admit. At first, yes, I wanted to write a letter to the site administrators complaining about the type of women they allowed to become members – but then I settled down and decided to make the most of it. I had paid money after all! And I wasn’t going to stop trying until I had met at least one girl.
Luckily, I soon learned all the correct tactics to be successful in online dating, and that first goal of one date was soon reached. And then exceeded … by many.
Like it or not, you are going to have to play it like a numbers game. Employ a scatter-gun approach. Write to lots of women, and you are sure to get some nibbles – but only if you are thinking with your head and not your penis when you write your emails. As some of the ladies said in their responses to my previous article – treat women with respect even if they are primarily looking for a sex partner. I’m no advocate of soppy, romantic dating sites, but one of them hits the nail on the head with its very name. Yes, there are “plenty of fish” in the sea. Many grains of sand on the beach. So, don’t give up until you get a result.
In practical terms, look at why are you being rejected and, very importantly, by what kind of woman.
Maybe you are expecting miracles. You might be a middle-aged man with a beer gut, scratching out a living. She is a gorgeous babe with a career that’s going places. Now, you may be the nicest bloke in the world, but she is most likely going to look you over. A woman like this will not respond to you no matter what. Rejection assured. You are much better off looking for females closer to your own age, perhaps widowed. Chubby women are often hot to trot. You get the picture.
I had a guy react to my last article like this: “With 10 times more men than women on here, it doesn't matter how good you write your profile, or how smooth you are at talking, 9 out of 10 men on here are going to miss out, and that's a FACT. What have you got to say about that Cam Langdon?”
Here’s my response to that. I often say to guys who are blaming the man-to-woman ratio for their poor results to compare the situation with a job interview. Most people have applied for jobs where there are potentially thousands of applicants for one position. Say it’s 1,000 apply and one job. If you don’t get the job, it’s disappointing, sure. But you soon get over it and start applying for other jobs. That same philosophy should guide you with online dating.
But here's the other side of the coin: someone DID get that job! The one who put the most effort and time into their application. Try and be THAT person, not the ones who dipped out. And guess what else? I'm betting that the guy who got the job had been rejected before on quite a few occasions - and he learned lessons from those experiences.
I cannot give you a 100% accurate figure on the ratios on AMM, but I’ll admit there are more men than women, which seems to be the case for all dating sites. That means you just have to try a little bit harder. And, from what the ladies have been saying about the approaches they get from many rude and ignorant guys, it shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve!
Once you accept the fact that rejection is an unfortunate reality in online dating, the sooner you will wake up to the fact that you need to be smart about the way you target, as well as casting the net as widely as you can.
PS. Thanks for all the comments on my previous articles, and that includes the negative as well as the positive.
Copyright © 2012 Cam Langdon
It is illegal to use any or all of this article without the expressed, written permission from the owner. If you wish to use it you must publish the article in it’s entirety and include the original author, plus links, so that it is clear where the content originated. Failure to do so will result in legal action being taken.