Do I have to be like a Porn Star in the Bedroom?

Some are, but most aren’t!I admit that I worried about this when we first started swinging, I wondered how good I actually was in bed; I even got a little “performance anxiety” because of it and chickened out of my first threesome with another guy!Yes, women do get that occasionally too.

I thought I had to be a highly sexed woman who loved to suck dick, could deep throat, orgasm a thousand times a night and loudly, loved anal (which I didn’t at the time) enjoyed cum anywhere and everywhere, and could wow a man with her sexual prowess in the bedroom!Now who the hell was I comparing myself to?I’ll give you two guesses and the first one doesn’t count… porn stars!

Sorry, but I still don’t like cum on my face, I was completely against the idea of anal until a year ago, I don’t orgasm a thousand times a night, some days I’m louder than others and although I like to suck dick, I still gag if I try to deep throat!Does that make me no good in bed?I’m not a model porn star but according to our toyboy (which every couple should have) and various other playmates we’ve enjoyed, I do quite fine.

We’ve met people who are multi-orgasmic, loud and machines in the bedroom, others that are subtle, quiet and don’t orgasm at all and everything in between but we’ve had fun with all of them. There is a whole lot less judgement going on than people think.

You can do your own head in if you get caught up comparing yourself to others or how you think you should be. Everyone is different and most people aren’t focused on how much fun you look like you’re having, only that you are actually having fun and enjoying what they’re doing to you or you’re doing to them

Besides, you will likely find that by being around those who have more porn star qualities that you may become a bit louder, a bit more adventurous and you may try things that you previously steered clear of, but these are all good things!

I’m happy to report that I got over this worry/fear/concern early on as I realised that most people are pretty normal and just like me in many ways. I have even stopped worrying about many of my body flaws (scars, flabby bits, “pudge”). Seriously, why we put this kind of pressure on ourselves is beyond me!

The other factor is that it’s harder to focus when there is so much going on, sometimes this can work for some or make things more difficult for others. I know I get too distracted and it makes it more difficult for me to orgasm but I still have fun!Do the other couples think any less of me if I don’t orgasm? No, because they still got to enjoy the other things I did, or joined in on. Mind you, they also see this as a challenge for next time so that can mean more fun

Don’t take playtime too seriously! If we spent as much time enjoying the moment as we did worrying about it and how we looked doing it, I think we’d all be more orgasmic!So get in, play, enjoy, try new things if you want to, just sit back and watch, or take the pictures of the shenanigans going on around you. Whatever you do, relax, its just sex!

Copyright © 2010 Chantelle Austin International
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