This article is about discussing what the warning signs are that mean it’s time for you to take a break from the swinging lifestyle, and what it can mean for your relationship.
One way to determine that is to ask “is it becoming something that might break the relationship rather than enhance it?” This is meant to be for fun and exploration, but what happens when it creates more arguments than orgasms?
The point where you decide that you need to take a break; to come back to basics will differ for each couple but it’s good to know what your stop light is, or at least to have a rough idea. This is a discussion that is best had up front so you can intervene when the warning signals appear such as repeated arguments or misunderstandings. If you take a break then, you’ll have the best chance of salvaging the relationship.
This to me is probably one of the hardest, yet most mature decisions a swinging couple have to make. There have been couples we know that made the decision to take a break from the whole swinging scene to work on their relationship; to discover each other again, and well done to them I say!
If you find you are starting to have arguments and misunderstandings over your swinging playmates, the boundaries, who did what with who etc, then my feeling is that it would be worth taking some time out and coming back to basics. Fall in love with each other all over again by spending quality time with just the 2 of you, and then rediscuss the boundaries for swinging if it’s something you still want to do as a couple, but only come back into it when you are both happy and comfortable with yourselves, your relationship, and where swinging fits in to enhance the bond between you.
There may not be one single defining criterion that becomes the stop light, so just be aware that it’s something you continue to do if both partners are happy. If it changes, that may be the signal to take a break or to call it quits. If you value your relationship and the other person, you’ll take the time out to do what’s needed or quit for the sake of keeping your relationship.
Alternatively, the issues magnified by swinging may indicate the relationship is not right for either of you, in which case it could be a blessing in disguise. This is not a decision to make lightly so all efforts must be made first but it’s good to know that when something ends, it makes room for something better to come in and take its place. Whatever happens, there is always something to learn.
Excerpt taken from "The Ultimate Swingers Guide"
Copyright © 2009 Chantelle Austin International
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