God apparently created us and he/she/it created us with desires and the ability to love whole heartedly. Why would we be created this way if we had to suppress any part of who we are, what we desire or who we love?
First of all, I was raised as a catholic so I understand the teachings of “God” but have always been conflicted with what I was being taught and what I feel is the true essence of being spiritual and “God-like”. Based on that, not all religious teachings lead to people feeling guilty over their lifestyle choices, mostly people who are raised Catholic or Christian and many variations of those.
Not all religions refer to their higher power as God but most religions that have an issue with non-monogamous relationships have a name for their higher power so where I say “God”, just substitute the name you prefer to use.
I won’t be quoting passages from any bibles or religious texts here. I’m not about to get into a debate over what certain passages mean or how they can be interpreted because in all seriousness, they can be interpreted in so many ways. What I am going to do is share a few thoughts which are about religion in general and how it relates to swinging and then you decide whether you think it’s right, wrong or what it means for you… I don’t think you’re going to go to hell though and if by some strange un-God like reason you do, don’t worry because you’ll be in good company!
Ok, so here’s the thing… We are taught that God is an almighty, all-loving and all forgiving entity. God loves unconditionally, doesn’t judge us and we are encouraged to become “God-like”, so this begs the question - why would something so loving and non-judgmental, have a solid opinion on our actions? And since when did loving “unconditionally” suddenly have conditions? Ok, so you may find a few soap-box moments but since we’re all God-like, you’ll forgive me, right?
If we go back, the bible (and other religious texts) were originally written by people who were supposedly there at the time, had heard the “stories” first hand, or as with the Old Testament, the stories were passed down. Think about it for a moment, is it possible that they were writing what they saw or heard based on their own values and beliefs?
We’re all human after all, imagine this scenario (which could possibly have happened to you already) - if four people witnessed a friends husband having a drink at a bar with a woman other than his wife, they’d all come up with potentially different motives or ideas about what it all meant. I’m a swinger so I’d probably think “kudos to them, they’ve evolved their relationship” or I might not even think anything of it, but maybe a friend of mine in a traditional relationship could think “that’s scandalous! He’s having an affair”.
If we can make mistakes based on how we see the world, is it possible that those who wrote the passages in the bible also made mistakes? Could they have been slightly off the mark too? While the bible talks about one husband and one wife, there are certainly other religious texts and cultures where multiple wives are the norm and where it’s more about “do unto others as you would have done to you”; treat others as you would like to be treated.
Consider this, how many times the bible or religious texts has been “updated” or translated into different languages over the centuries? It’s like Chinese whispers and we all know that in that game the original message is almost nothing like the end one… So is it possible that the people who translated the original text also had the opportunity to impress their values and beliefs on it? Have they also potentially got the translation wrong or skewed a little in the process?
According to the Ten Commandments (and various other religious versions of rules or guidelines to live by), thou shall not kill (well they aren’t doing that), steal (if they share their partners there is no stealing), lie (it’s all out in the open so no commandment breaking there either), and thou shall not commit adultery… To me adultery is the word they would have used at that time for “cheating” or “extra marital affairs” that weren’t agreed to and swinging really doesn’t fit in that category.
Swingers are consenting adults who allow their partners to enjoy sex and sometimes an intimate connection with other people, which is an extremely loving thing to do and nothing to feel guilty over. It requires great trust, faith, respect, understanding and love to be able to engage in it successfully. They should be given awards or something because not all couples mature their relationship to that point nor learn to love at that level.
Surely loving their partners unconditionally and allowing them to experience all life has to offer on all levels (including a sexual one), is far more in line with “what God wants” because it also creates stronger bonds between the couple and it’s been statistically proven that there are lower divorce rates in swinging couples. Amen to that!
God apparently created us and he/she/it created us with desires and the ability to love whole heartedly. Why would we be created this way if we had to suppress any part of who we are, what we desire or who we love? It’s perfectly natural to be attracted to more than one person; it’s perfectly natural to be able to love more than one person, it’s only hearsay from people who wrote the religious texts that say otherwise and I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t make sense to me. I’m still not seeing anything to feel guilty over.
At the end of the day swinging couples aren’t hurting anyone, least of all their marriage or their partners. What they are doing is loving wholly, living life to the fullest, and helping others do the same and there is no God or other higher power that is going to be upset about that. Ultimately do unto others; treat others as you’d like to be treated, allow others to live their lives without judging and you go about living yours.
I say leave the guilt for the people who truly deserve it - murderers, pedophiles and rapists to name a few. Now go forth and swing, have fun, love and enjoy every moment since we’ve been sent here to experience all that life has to offer, all that “God created”, and there is so much more to do… What a playground, thank you God!
Copyright © 2010 Chantelle Austin International
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