I think sex is a lot like ice cream. It's deliciously moreish and feels really good on the lips and tongue and it satisfies that sweet spot inside and, if you're not careful, it can leave a bit of a stain on the bedsheets.
The thing about ice cream though is that everyone likes different sorts. There's everything from your dairy-free, gluten-free, soy-based iced products to that rich, thick, frozen creamed custard stuff that makes your diet weep and your fat cells dance. There's something for everyone's tastes and sex is like that too.
To a lot of people their sex is like vanilla ice cream. It's nice and satisfying and makes them feel good, but let's be honest, if all you're eating is the same old thing, sure it's still nice, but it can get a little “blah” after a while too.
But, if you take that bowl of plain ol' vanilla ice cream and squirt a splodge of Ice Magic on top of it, suddenly you have a choc top! Then, if you mix in a few 100's and 1000's, you have ice cream with a layer of chocolate freckle! Now there's a treat you can really indulge in without overdoing it and buying a tub of double chocolate fudge with caramel ripple. The vanilla is still there, it's just been “enhanced”.
I honestly believe that sex toys are like the “toppings” of the sex world. They don't replace what's in your bowl, they just jazz it up a little and make a good treat even better.
The great thing about sex toys is that their variety is just as broad as the ice cream world and, just like ice cream, you really don't need to go over the top and drown it in rich fudge sauce if all you want is a couple of chocolate chips to give it a bit of extra crunch. There's also no reason to be worried if your partner decides they want to try a few little extras on their treat. It doesn't mean the ice cream you served up to them is no good, it just means they want to change it up a little bit.
Okay, let me move away from the ice cream analogies for a minute and talk to you straight. The thing is, I get a lot of girls telling me that they've had partners who feel very intimidated by sex toys. That the mere presence of a vibrator in the bedroom makes their guy feel inadequate or replaced and somehow not good enough like her owning it is a reflection on their sex skills, or lack thereof.
Relax! This is simply not true! In fact I can almost guarantee you that if a girl feels comfortable enough with you to bring out the vibe then she is not only thoroughly enjoying herself, she is also really, really into you and wants to take your sex life together to a whole new place.
You see, sex toys can do things and reach places that you (or any other person in the world) just can't. It doesn't mean you're not good enough, it just means that evolution hasn't given us vibrating fingertips or penises with swirling pearls inside them yet. It's a boost, an enhancement, a little extra helping hand that leaves your fingers or tongue free for other duties.
Not only that, but there are toys for every sort of sex play you can imagine (and ones for the things you can't) and nearly all of them have a myriad of settings that you can explore to discover different and amazing sensations. If you really feel (like a lot of men I've spoken to seem to) that the toys are replacing you then there are a few different things you can do. Like, for example, be the one who is in control of it. Tease and tickle her to the point of ecstasy and find the spots that make her quiver. Also, you should probably be aware that there are toys out there that work even better when there are two of you using it. Take the amazing We-Vibe range for example. These are toys designed to enhance sex for the two of you and completely incorporates both of your sensations and enjoyment. And they're not the only ones, there are many couples toys out there by different companies that have been created to be used specifically with your partner.
Seriously, guys. Just like with ice cream there is absolutely nothing wrong with adding a sprinkle of 100's and 1000's to turn your regular bowl of vanilla into a party treat. And who knows, you might even find you like your vanilla a little jazzed up and start adding new flavours and textures every time you have a bowl.
Copyright © 2012 Eva Sless
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