Evolving your Swinging Relationship

It’s an evolution in itself when a couple start swinging, I mean, you can’t swing successfully if you don’t have the right relationship foundations in place, and not all couples will ever dip their toes in the water, let-a-lone strip naked and join in. It requires a lot of honesty, trust, good communication skills, a sense of adventure and a thirst for sexy fun. It’s pretty safe to say that not all couples can tick every one of those off so kudos to you for getting this far!

When most people start into swinging it’s just to experience a threesome with one sex or the other, but then they start to get comfortable and realise there is more to experience than just a threesome. Getting through the first few experiences is the test and when most pass, their relationship evolves again and the boundaries change (I love it when the boundaries change!!).

This is the next phase and it’s a whole lot of fun. Once people have the strength in their relationship to cope with trying other new things, it’s time to start to participate in full swaps with couples, which seems to lead to private parties for more group play (orgies), and regular playmates.

When you start wanting to have playmates that are regulars in your life and not just in your bed, then you know you’ve evolved again because it’s not just about sex anymore. You start looking more for an extra connection which makes the sex part even more passionate and fun, because you also know how each other works and that makes a difference.

It’s in the swinging scene that many people evolve and explore their sexuality. They use the sites and parties to connect with people and experience a few things to see if they like it. It’s an evolution in itself when a person goes from completely straight to a level of bi-sexual and the relationship generally evolves again to grow with it.

Now not all couples will engage in all of those things but I’ve found that couples whose relationship evolves through swinging, have the maturity to cope with all of that and then some. It seems to be a natural progression and proof that the relationship is evolving if they can do all of those things and have it bring them closer together, not rip them apart.

So then the question becomes, what’s next?What is the next evolution?

Well there are a number of ways a relationship can evolve from here. One is that some couples move into an “open relationship” which is when they allow each other to have girlfriends or boyfriends outside the partnership. Some couples have more than one each but it works because they spend time with the girl/boy friends when they aren’t together. This is also why it’s classedas an open relationship; they are individual relationships enjoyed outside the original partnership, not shared with the original partner.

Another evolution is adding another person to the relationship itself so that it becomes a triad, or polygamous relationships (also known as polyamorous and means 3 or more in a committed relationship). This takes love and commitment to a whole other level. I’ve met a number of couples who started out swinging and who now have 3 or more in their relationship. They live together and operate as if they are all married. They share each other and enjoy sex either together or just 2 of them.

This can get even more complicated when you have a triad who swing and also have other boyfriends and girlfriends outside the relationship. There is honestly no limit to how many people can be involved in one way or another. There are couples that fall in love with couples and become a poly foursome, with kids and all, and while it’s hard for some traditional people to comprehend or accept, it does happen and it can work wonderfully well.

We’ve experienced many things and evolved to a point now where we’re looking for quality playmates that we really like; people we can be good friends with and enjoy their company outside the bedroom. If we find someone that we really click with then we’re open to where that takes us, either into an open relationship or heading down the track of becoming a triad or more…

Now not all couples will evolve to be able to swing, even less will evolve to open and probably even less again will evolve into a poly relationship, but if you think about it, it really is the ultimate evolution when you can have the capacity to love, and be loving, to more than one person at a time…

Here’s to your relationship evolution!

Copyright © 2010 Chantelle Austin International
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